Clap Your Hands Say Yeah: Automatic Standing Ovations

I'm used to being told my standards are a little high. As the Collegian's senior music music reporter and stingy critic on the Arts in Review page, I get all kinds of mail about how I'm too much of an elitist. (Okay, by "all kinds" I mean "half a dozen," and four of those were in response to a column where I said how much of an elitist I am.) But my most recent encounter with feeling like a miser came not when dissing a Pop CD, but when going to see a friend in a play.

The Rocky Horror Show came to the Schwab Auditorium. I'd recently seen clips of the film version for the first time, I knew a girl in the chorus, and I had nothing better to do when watch boys in corsets on a Friday night, so I checked it out.

The show was very good, even great. A live band did all the songs, the choreography was great, the audience shout-outs were hilarious, and I have nothing but respect for the guy who played Frank; anyone who can walk steps then slide down a fireman's pole in high heels is certainly applause-worthy.

But, as a critic, I had a few minor complaints too. And I do mean "minor." Not every single song was a knockout, and one or two tunes in the middle dragged a bit. To me, all this means is that the show was great but not flawless. If I was reviewing it, it might get an A-.

So when the show ended and the audience rose for a standing ovation, I remained sitting. To me, a standing ovation is the highest possible award, one you give when a performance blows you away for the duration.

Did I enjoy myself at Rocky? Immensely. One guy in the balcony was yelling comments that had me in stitches, and "Time Warp" is one of my favorite songs from a musical ever. I just didn't feel it was one of the best things I'd ever seen, so not standing ovation worthy.

But man, did I feel like a jerk for it. I tried to explain myself and say that it was "very good" (I got yelled at for not saying "great") I said that I just felt the standing ovation was a higher honor (I got yelled at for that too). At least I'm getting used to this: I was one of the only guys sitting during a No Refund Theatre run-through of The Breakfast Club last year, too.

Am I wrong? I don't know. Both shows were a blast, and everyone had a great time. I could have gone with the crowd's energy and hit my feet, but I sat there like Scrooge. But it's hard for me to feel bad: I cheered during the show, I clapped at the end, and I have 95 percent positive things to say.

I'm just doing my small part to show performers that, hey, give it just a little something more, and THAT'S a standing ovation. It's part of my ongoing struggle to slowly raise the standards of the audience and thus the arts scene at Penn State.

Or maybe I'm just an ass.