"Despite all my rage..."

Okay, I think I remembered my problem with cover bands.

There I was, standing in the Saloon on Thursday night and enjoying a monkey boy or two, when some cover band hit the stage. They launched into "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by Smashing Pumpkins, which pleased me at first.

Then they began launching into a progressively awful set of songs, ranging from "Headstrong" by Trapt to "We Are All on Drugs" by Weezer, the latter of which I actually booed. It was a nice timeline of the decline of alternative rock into the over-processed, amelodic trash it is now.

As a kid who cut his teeth on Nirvana, it's ridiculous to see a band like the Pumpkins lumped in with Trapt and current Weezer. (And, seriously, out of every Weezer song ever, why "We Are all on Drugs"? So many classics. "Buddy Holly." "Say It Ain't So." "Undone - the Sweater Song." "Hash Pipe." "Island in the Sun." "El Scorcho.")

I know cover bands are there just to get drunk to and hear recognizable music, but come on. You can't just lump in accomplished, talented bands with a bunch of goons who rhyme "headstrong" with "headstrong" in the chorus of their big hit. I'm getting a headache just thinking about those monkey boys, but I still wasn't drunk enough to sing along to this band.

The band itself angered me too. They looked like a collection of rock cliches. I saw a bandana, shaggy hair, and a big guy with tattoos.

It's not even the fact that the band played terrible music that bothers me, it's that they lump in worthy art with total junk. Do people really not care what they listen to? I can't even blame it on drunkeness, because this is a problem I notice everywhere. (See my column from last Thursday for more on this.)

I guess, instead of complaining, I'll offer a few alternatives. SOMA is throwing a free show tomorrow; an acoustic show in the West Hall Study Lounge, with Boys Like Girls of Columbia Records headlining. Then the hookah lounge is hosting an all-ages Roustabout! at 9 p.m. on Friday.

And if you're not going to check those out, at least do me a favor. The next time you're at a bar, and the band launches into an inexcusably lame song, don't just bob your head and keep drinking. Boo a little, keep them on their toes.